second thoughts about SF .....

11am

woke up late. alright, it’s sunday. dang! i almost forgot! regular season begins today! 49ers and Jaguars! Bears and Chiefs!

fix myself a sandwich and plot my fat ass across the floor (no furniture yet). i’m ready for some hardcore, smashmouth pigskin!

still a Bears fan. i really want to see Cade McNown play. supposed to be the franchise QB and the salvation for that hapless team. but Shane Matthews is starting; the running game and defense had better step it up…..eeek.

starting to wonder if the move to SF was worth it. i prolly could’ve bought a new car, new puter (eyeing that new Mac G4), pay half the amount of rent and have that blanket from my parents.

i guess it’s the money crunch i’m feeling. it’s tough to enjoy the city when my income is sporatic. pay’s good but erratic. it’ll be good to fly back to Chicago and see my folks and friends. just for a weekend though…

i screwed up with the Xchanges.com and Evite.com offers. went for the money, but you know: it doesn’t buy happiness nor love. ugh, i sound sensitive. please…anyways, no looking back, i guess. must keep positive. + + + argh, i hate myself sometimes, serenity now, serenity now…

wish i had a companion. maybe even a girlfriend (how weird would that be right now?). pay half the rent and bills, keep me company, someone to talk to…

yek, enough. i sound so sappy…

11pm

watching The Crow, waiting for Iggy to call. he’s staying with me for the week. i’m guessing some partying, capoiera, fine dining, etc. it kinda sucks since i have work…eh.

“Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.”

i have to keep the positive energy. i guess i feel i’ve been here too long, too many interviews, and some real good offers, to not have anything permanent.

tired and lonely.

end of today’s entries. til tomorrow…night all…